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Do you believe in your goals and dreams?
Are you confident in your capability and capacity to achieve success?
Now, the answer to these questions may vary, but one thing is certain:
Confidence and action go hand in hand, y’all!
“How so?” you might ask.
Well, we believe that:
Confidence inspires us to take action, and taking purposeful action helps make us even more confident.
You move forward and take action because you feel certain you can accomplish the task at hand, having this level of security allows you tune out the doubts and fears that holds you back from actually doing something.
Now, as entrepreneurs, we lead our people based on the strengths we possess.
“But why are we so compelled to follow someone confident?”
The thing is, people are attracted to confident people because confident people are action-takers.
You’re probably thinking:
“Well, that makes sense but it’s hard enough trying to be confident without being an online entrepreneur…”
We get it, harnessing self-confidence can be a struggle.
We understand, we sometimes feel this way too!
Jocelyn actually has a sticky-note on her computer that says, “I am a good leader” to remind herself every day.
But hey!
Just because she doesn’t feel like a good leader sometimes, doesn’t mean she isn’t one.
Those who are struggling with self-confidence have as much potential as those who exude self-confidence.
“But still, why do self-confident people get more out of life?”
Because they just go out and do things.
Think about it this way:
Confidence is like a door.
You open it, you close it — it’s up to you.
Each one of us has the ability to control this door.
A door to new experiences and opportunities.
A door that will help you mindfully say, “Yes” or “No.”
A door that attracts action, growth, and change.
Confidence is the door you have to open so you can meet your amazing potential.
WHO WOULDN’T WANT TO OPEN THAT DOOR?
So, if you’re struggling with self-confidence, we want you to know that you can do something about it.
Because we know you can do whatever it takes to flip your life.
We know you can deliver results.
Now, it’s time to become more confident!
In this episode, we’re sharing the top 5 confidence killers and how to defeat them.
Confidence Killer #1: Lack of Knowledge
Your Weapon: Get training
You have access to a device (or devices) that allows you to consume all sorts of information, in all sorts of ways, you have to take advantage of this.
Use it to learn and understand more about your chosen topic/field!
Don’t just sit around and sulk that you don’t know how to do something.
Seriously, go find out how it’s done and learn how to do it yourself.
There is NO EXCUSE.
Confidence Killer #2: Competition
Your Weapon: Perspective
Okay, so there are a lot of other people out there offering the same solution.
Why would they choose you?
Well, why wouldn’t they?
There are more or less 4 billion people on the internet, there’s bound to be someone who will find YOU and choose YOU over everybody else because they relate to YOU and believe in YOU.
Don’t fear the competition.
Learn from their success, what worked for them and how it worked.
Remember:
Competition is good!
It shows you that someone has already succeeded and that you can too.
Confidence Killer #3: Avoiding Change and Seeking Comfort
Your Weapon: Surround Yourself with Change-makers
Avoiding change and seeking comfort is your brain’s way of protecting you from getting hurt.
It’s going to stop you from jumping off the diving board because you might get hurt.
But you know what else it stopped you from experiencing?
It stopped you from the thrill of diving in the refreshing water.
It stopped you from making new memories with friends.
It stopped you from conquering your fear of the unknown.
It stopped you from the opportunity of experiencing something you might enjoy.
We learn by being aggressive, and we accomplish great things by doing exploring, understanding and doing the things that scare us.
Surround yourself with change-makers that will help you take the plunge.
Because the fun is in the water, not on the deck!
Confidence Killer #4: Outside Influences
Your Weapon: Tune Out The Negativity
This is probably the hardest confidence killer to overcome because outside influences might be your family, your friends, your environment, etc.
We struggled with this because we lived in a small town where everybody knew everybody.
But you know what we learned?
Negativity never attracts positive things into your life.
You need to nip it in the bud before it affects your confidence.
“I want to tune out the negativity but I don’t want to be rude!”
Well, you don’t have to be.
To avoid this confidence killer, we had to stop talking to some people as often.
This doesn’t mean we stopped caring, it’s just we decided to prioritize working on changing our family’s life for the better — there is no room for negativity in a goal of that magnitude.
You have got to be picky when it comes to what you allow to influence you.
If they keep bringing you down, then it’s time to find better company.
Confidence Killer #5: Lack of Experience
Your Weapon: Go get experience and be kind to yourself when you mess up
So, what do you do if you lack experience?
Well, you gotta get out there and make the experience happen!
Find a place where you’d be able to master your preferred skill.
Remember, it takes dedication and perseverance to become really good at something.
Everyone learns at their own pace, so you shouldn’t compare your progress with everybody else’s.
Do what works for you!
We hope you enjoyed the podcast; we hope it inspires you to explore what’s possible for your family!
Click here to leave us an iTunes review and subscribe to the show!
We may even read yours on the air! ?
Links and resources mentioned in today’s show:
- How to make $100 online
- Pat Flynn joins us to celebrate our 100th episode!
- Flip Your Life community 14-day trial
Success Story of the Week:
Today’s success story comes from Jennifer in the Flip Your Life community.
Jennifer says,
“I finished my first set of science videos. After a lot of hard work during the past week, I’ve finished my first set of science videos for my membership area. I needed seven videos for this lesson about animals. I’m ready to add it to my autoresponder and market the membership to my list, I only have like a hundred seventy-nine lessons left but I’m just going to focus on one at a time.”
So, she’s not waiting until her entire product is complete. She’s got the first part, she’s got enough to sell right now and get people in, and she’s celebrating that she can open the doors even though she’s gonna make the rest of the lessons later.
This is not only an amazing story of taking action and getting something done, but it’s not being afraid to sell something even though you’ve got to create the rest of it. She’s not gonna wait eight months for now until she’s got a hundred and seventy-nine more things finished. She’s opening the doors, she’s gonna start selling and she’s gonna start marketing things, and that’s gonna help her make money in her online business to succeed even faster.
We would love to help you write the success story for your online business.
At the end of today’s show, head over to flippedlifestyle.com/flipyourlife where you can learn more about building and growing a successful online business with the help of our Flip Your Life community.
Can’t Miss Moment:
This week’s Can’t Miss Moment was a trip out to Boise, Idaho
Jocelyn and I actually flew out to Boise, Idaho to meet with Russell Brunson and the Clickfunnels team, it was an amazing meeting – a very, very high-level mastermind type event. Two intense days of hardcore work on our sales funnels and things like that. And man, it was awesome. Boise, I don’t know – if you don’t know much about Boise, Idaho, let me tell you something, it is absolutely one of the most beautiful places we’ve ever been to. All the buildings are new, it’s growing and it’s just great people, the Uber drivers and all the people that we’ve met there were just such good people and we had an amazing time out in Boise, Idaho.
It was amazing meeting Russel, meeting his team, seeing the Clickfunnels headquarters and just being able to learn so much more about how we can do better as marketers and salespeople and this is a Can’t Miss Moment because Jocelyn and I have the resources now to invest in our business, invest in ourselves, and we’ve really worked hard to build that over time, and we’re able to take advantage of some of these amazing opportunities to learn from some of the very best in the game.
I also loved that we were able to meet up with some other Flip Your Life members, Chris and Melanie Greenwood. We met up with them at this conference and had a great few days just hanging out with them and learning together, some of the highest level content that I -probably the highest of a content I ever experienced at an event, so that was pretty cool.
Enjoy the podcast; we hope it inspires you to explore what’s possible for your family!
You can connect with S&J on social media too!
Thanks again for listening to the show! If you liked it, make sure you share it with your friends and family! Our goal is to help as many families as possible change their lives through online business. Help us by sharing the show!
If you have comments or questions, please be sure to leave them below in the comment section of this post. See y’all next week!
Can’t listen right now? Read the transcript below!
Jocelyn: Hey y’all! On today’s podcast, we’re going to give you five tips for building confidence in starting or growing your online business.
Shane: Welcome to the Flipped Lifestyle podcast where life always comes before work. We’re your hosts, Shane and Jocelyn Sams. We’re a real family who figured out how to make our entire living online. And now, we help other families do the same. Are you ready to flip your life? Alright, let’s get started!
What’s going on everybody? Welcome back to the Flipped Lifestyle podcast! It is great to be back with you again this week. Super excited, cannot wait to talk about confidence today with you. But I’m not confident that this podcast is gonna go off without a hitch because there is a ton of noise right outside of our window right now. Now, you would think that living on a farm with 30 acres, there wouldn’t be a ton of noise since we don’t really have a lot of neighbors but next door like across the street about 2 acres away, our neighbors are literally clearing like a hundred acres of forests, and there are these giant cranes and machines and stuff chopping down trees, and they’re putting them on trucks. So, at any moment now a log could come flying into our window. We don’t know, it might happen.
Jocelyn: However, we are confident that you will like this episode of the Flipped Lifestyle podcast!
Shane: I see what you did there! That was a good transition. So, today we’re gonna be talking to you about confidence and it’s very interesting how we kind of came up with this topic. We were gonna talk about something totally different but this week, we started a poll in our Flip Your Life Live Nashville Facebook group. We’ve got a private group set up just for the hundred or so entrepreneurs that are coming to Flip Your Life Live in Nashville in September.
Jocelyn: And we do have a few spots left.
Shane: That was a shameless plug, I like it how you filled that in there. FlippedLifestyle.com/Nashville if you’d like to get a ticket, we only got a few left.
We’re doing a poll every week to learn everything we can about each individual person that’s going because we’re going to basically prepare answers to specific questions for every single person in attendance. And we wanna make sure we know what people need to get to the next level, so we could help them when we show up at Flip Your Life Live.
I did a poll this week that said basically like: ‘What is the biggest fear that’s holding you back?’, ‘What’s the frustrating you the most in your online journey right now?’, ‘What external obstacles are really getting in your way of making your dreams a reality?’, and as I was reading all of these responses that these members are putting into this poll, I noticed the trend. Some people said, “I’m just afraid that nobody will listen to me”, “I’m not expert enough, I don’t know if they’ll take my expertise to heart,” and then another person said, “You know, I’m not sure if I can figure out all the software and the systems that it takes to really run an online business”, and another person said, “I’m not sure if I can manage life, work, and an online business and find the time to do it and still be able to balance everything else.” And I was reading these questions at 2 AM last night, just going through them all and trying to dig through these and find patterns and see what was going on. And all of a sudden it dawned on me, it hit me. I had this huge light bulb moment. We all have obstacles, we all have struggles, we all have frustrations, but the biggest thing, the biggest trend in every single person’s response was confidence.
They were not confident that people would believe they were an expert, they were not confident in themselves that they were an expert, they were not confident that they could learn a new skill, learn a new piece of software, learn how to implement a new system. They just didn’t have the confidence in themselves, maybe because they have not done it before. Or they weren’t confident that they could find the time and still be a good mom, still be a good employee, and still be a good wife or a good husband while they were building their online business.
Jocelyn: And that kind of leads me into a question, does that mean that people who are doing online business, does that mean that we are confident? And I’m not sure about the answer to that. I think that, for me, sometimes, I have been confident in this business, and then I think, in another stage is, I have not. And I think it’s when we start to grow and that is when I start questioning, ‘Okay, can I really do this? Can I really lead a team of people? Am I confident?’ And that’s why I have a post-it on my computer that says, “I am a good leader.” And I say that out loud every day because I don’t feel that way right now.
So, if you are feeling like you are not confident, then you are not alone.
Shane: Yeah, I think that we all struggle with a lack of confidence and as we were talking about all the people that were coming to Flipped Lifestyle, we looked at each other and said, ‘Are we confident? Are we always confident? Like, when are we confident? When are we not confident?’ and that really took us down this rabbit hole of we gotta talk about this on the podcast, because if we’re struggling with confidence and we quote, unquote – have made it, right? But you never make it, right? And everyone that we see, every single answer is really a confidence issue. We have gotta address this head on. Not only for ourselves, not only for our team but for all of our listeners and all of our members and all of the people who are coming to the Nashville Live event. Because if we can’t fight back and get that confidence, and build confidence, we’re never gonna be able to find the courage to do things that we have to do to flip our lives.
Jocelyn: And if you can’t convince yourself that you are worthy of doing this, it’s going to be really hard to convince customers of that.
Shane: So, as Jocelyn and I were wrestling with this morning as we were planning this podcast, we said, ‘okay, we have identified that confidence is a major issue in almost every single person’s list right now’, we’ve recognized that confidence is actually something that we’re struggling with right now.
So, what is causing the lack of confidence? What is killing our confidence? What makes us think, no one will listen to us? What makes us think, I’ll never learn that piece of software? What makes us think, man, I’m just not leading my team, I’m not doing a good job? Even when there are results, clear results that prove otherwise. What causes us to be unconfident, pause, plateau or hold ourselves back?
Jocelyn: Today, on the podcast, we’re gonna talk about a couple of different sets of items.
The first one is five confidence killers. So, five things that we’ve talked about that we think kill people’s confidence.
Shane: And not just people’s, we were saying to ourselves, why does someone still feel that they’re not expert enough? Now, why do we feel like we can’t get this new website launched, or why do we feel like we can’t launch this new product? These are things that we see killing other people’s confidence, these are things that are killing our confidence sometimes as well.
Jocelyn: And don’t think that the whole show’s gonna be a downer about how people or things or time kills your confidence because we’re also gonna talk about five tips to increase your self-confidence at the end.
Shane: So, let’s start with the confidence killers and once we get through all five of these, we’ll tell you specific tips for each one of these to overcome them.
Jocelyn: Alright, the first reason that we’ll talk about that people have a lack of confidence is because you realize, you don’t know how to do something, this is something that is hard for people because you go through life, you maybe get your degree and things are going great and then you realize, ‘I don’t really wanna do this forever, I wanna do something else but I don’t know how’. We hear this all the time- ‘I would love to start an online business, but I don’t know how to make a website. I would love to start selling something online but I don’t have any technical ability’.
Shane: And it’s not necessarily just ‘oh, I’ve got to learn a new skill’, we all got to roll up our sleeves and learn new skills all the time, it’s more just that feeling that you get when you realize you don’t know something. Or you see someone and they’ve built this fancy website or they’ve edited this awesome YouTube video, it’s that feeling you get when you don’t know how to do something that holds people back. You may say ‘Oh I’ve got to learn how to build a website’, then you try and maybe the first day or two, you get stuck and you’re like ‘I’ll never figure this out. I just don’t know how to do this’. And really, it’s just a challenge that’s right in front of you. But that feeling, that realization, ‘I don’t know how to do this, and it’s gonna be really, really hard to learn this on my own’ just kills your confidence and as soon as your confidence goes down, our brain starts to try to protect ourselves, right? Because that’s what we’re all trying to do in life. Our brain is trying to survive and keep us alive, right? So, as soon as we hit some kind of obstacle, or we hit this bad feeling, or we get stuck on something, we start saying to ourselves, ‘Can I do this? Maybe I should just go back to the old way. Maybe I should just stick to the things I already know and not try to learn anything else.’
Jocelyn: And I think for some people, it’s just like a protection mechanism, they’re even a little bit happy that they realize this, ‘Oh well, I can’t build a website.’
Shane: ‘Nope, can’t do it.’
Jocelyn: ‘Oh well, I just have to go back to my everyday life. It’s terrible, and I’mma keep complaining about it but, you know, it’s my easy way out. It’s my easy button and I don’t have to do it because I don’t know how.’
Shane: This actually happened to us one time, when we were switching to a new CRM, we used to use AWeber for all of our emails, it served us great for two years but we really felt to get to a six-figure or a seven-figure business. We were gonna need a more robust customer management system, so we looked at all the different options, we actually met the people from Ontraport in an event, we started using Ontraport but then, a bunch of our friends started using Infusionsoft and many people call Infusionsoft “Confusion-soft,” and there is a reason for that. It is a very complex but powerful piece of software, we have a real love-hate relationship with Infusionsoft. It’s amazing what it can do but man, sometimes it just makes you feel like the dumbest kid in the room. You can’t figure out what to do and you eventually have to spend some money to hire somebody to help you.
I can remember when we switched our business to Infusionsoft, I was so confused, ‘cause I was kind of spearheading the learning of how to use this thing for our e-mail marketing and stuff that I just wanted to quit, I just wanted to stop doing online business, I wanted to go back to where we were and I wanted to say, it would be fine to just make the money we’re making now. Maybe, we don’t want to grow if it’s gonna be this hard and I have to learn all these new stuff, maybe I don’t wanna be a millionaire or maybe we don’t wanna go buy our dream home, maybe we’re just cool where we are.
It’s crazy how just learning something new or a little bit more complex than what we’re used to can absolutely kill our confidence in other areas. It was one thing to say I’m not confident in using Infusionsoft, but it really started to make me doubt, ‘Am I even capable of learning how to take our online business to the next level if it’s gonna be this hard, maybe we should just stay where we are?’
And maybe you’ve been there, maybe you’re learning something right now that’s really confusing to you, maybe you’re trying to create a sales funnel, maybe you’re trying to get your email autoresponder to actually convert, maybe you’re trying to figure out what your product is gonna be or what your lead magnets are gonna be, or how to even deliver those things, or how do you accept payments for things. And you’re so confused, you’re starting to say to yourself, ‘can I even do this?’
The second confidence killer that we came up with is Competition. This is something that we hear over and over and over again from people in the Flip Your Life community is ‘Well, I thought I knew what I was talking about, and I thought I have this big, unique idea but then I started doing some research, then I started looking around at my competitors and man, these people are already talking about this topic and they’re doing it so well. I’m not even sure I could ever do it that well. Who would listen to me, when they could just go to them? And they’ve been doing it for two or three years and they’re so far ahead of me and they’re so much smarter and they’ve had so many more accomplishments. How could I ever possibly figure out where I fit in this market?’
Jocelyn: And I think when we first started, when I was doing elementary librarian, there really weren’t a whole lot of competitors for me. So, that kind of gave me some confidence at first, but then, when we started getting into Flipped Lifestyle, I mean, you guys follow people who talk about online business obviously, or you wouldn’t follow us, and there are a lot of those.
Shane: Yes, tons of competitions.
Jocelyn: There are a ton of those, you know. And people even said to us when we first started out, I remember when we first launched our podcast, people would send us e-mails and they’re like, ‘oh, you shouldn’t target all people who want to start an online business, you should only target teachers’. No, that’s not what we wanted to do.
Shane: That’s not the point, yeah.
Jocelyn: And, we didn’t say ‘well, there are already dozens of podcasts about online business, so we better not start one.’
Shane: This was also a huge intimidating factor for me specifically, when we started our initial online businesses because I was selling playbooks for football coaches and there were a lot of football coaches who had been more successful than me as a head football coach, people who had been to state championships, and people who had won 90% of their games for 20 years and they were all releasing sometimes similar playbooks and things like that. So, I really had to look in the mirror and say, ‘How am I gonna fit into this space? How am I going to compete and am I just gonna get squashed by all these people who are more experienced?’ but, twenty-twenty hindsight and everyone listening now know, the Flipped Lifestyle podcast is extremely successful. Our coaching products were extremely successful because we realized, it’s not as much about the competition, it’s more about focusing on yourself.
We’re gonna talk more about overcoming the competition confidence killer just in a few minutes.
Jocelyn: The third confidence killer we discussed is avoidance of change and wanting to seek comfort. We’ve talked about this on the show before. People, they like to do the status quo, it’s what’s comfortable, it’s what we do every day.
Shane: We all resist change.
Jocelyn: It’s what feels good, because it’s what we know, and we see this all the time. People kinda want to start an online business, but they kinda really like the security.
Shane: Yeah.
Jocelyn: And I think that kind of feeling is probably one of the most intense of forms of not wanting to get started and just avoidance.
Just avoiding what you know you need to do because it’s not comfortable.
Shane: Jocelyn and I were at a live event, and a Flipped Lifestyle listener came up to us, introduced himself, said he had heard about our story and then it actually inspired him to go and start his own online business and really take it to the next level.
He was working full-time in like an IT job, or something, making good money, probably making $60-$80,000 a year. For the last year and a half before we had met him at this live event, he was like ‘yeah, I’m building this business, I’m doing this thing, it’s awesome, it’s starting to grow’, and I was like ‘cool man, let’s go to lunch and tell me more about what you do’, so me and this Flipped Lifestyle listener, we went to Chipotle and we sat over burritos and he told me all about his business and finally toward the end of it, I’m kind of straightforward person, Jocelyn get uncomfortable when I’m talking to people, ‘cause I’m like, ‘alright, how much revenue did you make last year, how much was the profit and let’s figure out what to do next’ and I just asked straight up, ‘how much are you making right now?’ and the guy was making like $400,000 online, a year in gross revenue and a lot of that was profit.
I looked at him and I said, ‘why are you still working a full-time job?’. He was still working 50 hours a week, making less than $100,000.00 a year and here his online business was making $400,000 and he basically said, ‘man, I’m just afraid of what would happen if I quit, if I change what I was doing now and this didn’t work out, or at least I know I always got this thing over here, this safety valve and that kinda makes me comfortable.’
We had this great discussion about, ‘You’re crazy. If you’re doing this part-time, what could you do full-time?’ and he eventually quit his job and his business grew like 25% almost immediately after he quit. It just reminds us that, man, comfort is like almost like a shackle, it kills your confidence for taking risks, taking chances, this is the same discussion Jocelyn and I had when we were about to quit our job. I was trying to talk to Jocelyn into leaving our teaching jobs right in the middle of the school year, and it was kinda like, yeah there is money over hear but there’s also money and stability and insurance over here, and where are you gonna find the confidence to be able to change your life?
Jocelyn: It helps when you have someone who basically pushes you out of the airplane because that’s pretty much what happened. Shane was like, ‘I’m quitting my job, whether you do or not’ and I’m like, ‘yeah, that’s not happening.’
Shane: I’m gonna have to draw a line on the sand here, yeah, but that fear of change and that fear of getting uncomfortable or not having that security blanket is a definite confidence killer.
Jocelyn: The fourth confidence killer that we have discussed is outside influences, so this might be people in your life and maybe, they are playing into this lack of confidence. Maybe, you’ve talked to somebody about wanting to start an online business and they said, ‘uh… that’s a scam, don’t do that or you have young kids and you need to take care of them, you need to stay at your corporate job’.
Shane: ‘Be more responsible. You need to be more responsible.’
Jocelyn: Yes.
Shane: We got that, we totally got that. We had people telling us, ‘Are you sure you wanna do this? Is this really a real thing? Why are you wasting all this time?’ We had all these naysayers, and when we look back at it, we realized that it really hurt our confidence to take those risks quicker, to go out and make things happen.
A lot of the people meant well, those outside influence, those outside voices, they’re trying to keep you from changing. They’re trying to protect you in their mind from the hurt of failure because they don’t have the confidence to do it. They don’t have the courage to take the risk. When they see a peer or when they see a friend, when they see a family member doing something a little bit out of the ordinary, a lot of times, they reach out and grab your hand and pull you back. That’s like when you see your kid walking toward the edge of the dock at the lake, someone might reach out and grab them and pull them back. And I think our friends and our family and the people around us, they wanna stop us but they don’t realize how fun it is to go dive in and to take that swim and experience something new, and they’re scared to do it, so they wanna hold you back as well.
Jocelyn: This one is really relevant to me because when we were first starting out, I made a point not to say anything about the website to most of the people in my life because I didn’t want those negative voices, I knew that if I had negative voices in my life then I would run back to the safety of my education job instead of going full force and moving forward and doing what I knew I really needed to do.
Shane: And those outside influences to me are more than just voices, it could be your environment, we had a Flip Your Life member one time that found success that was making money online, that got her product done, that got her product launched and she was actually seeing some things happen, and she wrote me this really, really poignant message one day in the community and said, ‘You know, I’m falling apart here. It’s all gonna go away. I’m really scared that this is succeeding, you don’t understand where I come from. Everyone here is oppressed, everyone here is depressed, everyone here has minimum wage jobs, everyone in my community, everyone in my neighborhood, nobody is successful. I’m afraid of what success is going to look like, if I start succeeding, what are people going to think about me, why am I special, why am I different?’ So, it’s not just voices, it can be your environment that kills your confidence and keeps you from moving forward, even when there’s clear evidence that things are possible, and that you can succeed.
So, after realizing you don’t know how to do things, after fear of competition sets in a little bit and kills your confidence, maybe that fear of change is what’s killing your confidence, or maybe there are outside influences that are really bringing your confidence down. A lack of experience is the fifth thing that we’ve noticed really holds most people back when it comes to confidence.
You know it’s one thing to learn how to do something, that’s what a lot of quote-unquote entrepreneurs or want-repreneurs do, they watch every course, they watch every video, and they never take action. Because we’re scared to go out on stage for the first time, we’re scared to go ziplining or bungee for the first time, because we don’t have the experience, we’ve not taken the action, we’ve not done it enough to be able to be confident that we can actually make it happen and quite frankly, when you have a lack of experience, it can be really scary because you know that you’re probably gonna fail sometimes, you’re going to take a couple steps back, take a couple steps forward for a little bit until you figure it out.
So, lack of experience is a real confidence killer.
Unfortunately, every human being has a lack of experience at every single new thing that they’re going to tackle. So whenever you’re gonna do something new like start an online business, it’s going to take a hit on your confidence, to ask yourself, ‘Can I do this? I don’t know because I’ve never done it before.’
Jocelyn: And this happens at all levels of business, you know, it happened to us when we were first starting out because we didn’t have any experience being business owners, and now we have 6 years of experience being business owners but things in our business are changing. We’re bringing more people on our team, we are expanding in different ways, we’re coming up with new products, we’re launching new websites, all of these things are new experiences for us and unfortunately, there’s no manual that says, “Go into the next level in your online business.”
Shane: It’s not like the matrix where you can download all the experience into your brain and you can be like, ‘I know Kung Fu’, you know, you can’t do that. You have to actually go and live it and experience it to make up for the lack of experience. But when you’re not experiencing something, it can just really take your confidence down and you never go do it, because you don’t wanna experience the failure.
Let’s talk about some real practical tips, things that Jocelyn and I actually do to overcome confidence killers and these are solutions that we have seen other people have success with, that we’ve seen people actually use to build confidence, to build that self-confidence and take their online dreams to the next level.
- Commercial break –
Jocelyn: Hey y’all! Just a quick reminder, before we get back. Flip Your Life Nashville tickets are on sale right now, and we only have a few left.
Shane: We want you to join us and over a hundred Flipped Lifestyle listeners, members and fans for a life-changing experience in Nashville, Tennessee this September.
Jocelyn: You’re gonna have the opportunity to get help directly from us, build relationships with other family-focused entrepreneurs and take massive action towards your goals.
Shane: Attending live events was the best thing that we ever did for our online business and Flip Your Life Live is the game-changer you need to make your online dreams a reality.
Jocelyn: Alright y’all, we only have a few tickets left as of this recording, so get your ticket fast. As soon as you hear this, head over to Flippedlifestyle.com/Nashville to order your ticket and join us in September at Flip Your Life Live.
That’s Flippedlifestyle.com/Nashville.
- End Commercial break –
Alright, we’ve talked about the first confidence killer was realizing you don’t know how to do things, well this one is pretty easy to overcome. All you really need to do is get training. Don’t reinvent the wheel, people have written books, they have created websites, there are a million Youtube videos that probably have to do with the thing that you don’t know how to do or you think you don’t know how to do. Model successful people, look at people out there in your space, what are they doing? What are they doing well? What are they not doing well? What can you avoid? Guys, it’s really not rocket science, okay? We have a wealth of information online, right now. A lot of it is totally free. No excuse.
Shane: I was thinking about when we were redoing our sales funnel on our website on this, and we were basically trying to write all this new copy and we kind of got stuck because we’re trying to figure out how to present to people what we do, and how we do it and all that. And we looked at each other, after months of struggling to do this whole re-design of our website and everything else, we said, ‘oh my gosh, let’s just go to a conference and let’s talk to somebody and we’ll buy a couple of books and we’ll do it the way other people do it.’
So, we basically went to Clickfunnels to meet Russell Brunson, and we just said ‘Hey man, how would you present this? What are you presenting? What are you doing right now?’ and we just modeled some of the things that he was doing.
We read a book called, “StoryBrand” by Donald Miller, it’s a great book. We took some principles from that and we just modeled what these other successful people were doing who were ahead of us in the game, who were making more money than us, and we just started doing those things.
So, don’t try to think you have to come up with the new mousetrap, the better mousetrap to make money online or to get your business off the ground. You just really have to watch some training and then go do it. If you don’t have the skill, then stop and learn the skill. And you’ll be able to have more confidence as soon as you figure how to do that and you’ll be able to move forward.
Alright, the second confidence killer was a fear of competition, you see other people doing things, and it really holds you back. The best way to fight this confidence killer is to have perspective, okay? We get so isolated and almost like inbred, you know, into our own communities, into our own spaces and we see these people who are doing certain things and we think that everybody knows what they’re doing and that everybody sees them.
Think about the successful person in your field, think about the most famous, the most well known, you know – the person who’s achieved the most things, if you walked up to twenty people tomorrow and ask them, ‘have you ever heard of this person?’ or ‘have you ever heard of this company?’, I would bet you all twenty people in your life would say, ‘what are you talking about? I have no idea what you’re talking about.’
Jocelyn: And even in your industry, I remember one time, we were going to launch our product and we were talking to some friends of ours and they were like ‘Oh, no-no, you can’t do it at that time of the year. That’s B school time’ and we’re like ‘what the heck is B school time?’.
Shane: ‘What is B school? What do you know what B school was?’
Jocelyn: Like, we don’t even know what it was.
Shane: You know, we’ve figured out later it’s more e-folios, course or something. But like, we had no clue what it was. And then another time, someone wrote us a message and they were like, ‘Shane and Jocelyn, I’ve been listening to your podcast for almost a year now, it’s so awesome. But I really just wanted to write in and thank you for that 100th episode where you interviewed that Pat Flynn guy because I had never heard of Pat Flynn, I’ve never heard of smart passive income.’ And we’re like, ‘how have you never heard of Pat Flynn? He’s like one of the most famous marketers in the world.’ But, it’s perspective guys. Everybody doesn’t know everything you do and everybody doesn’t even know who your competition are. What if they find you first? You know, you have to remember, there are 7 billion people in the world and like 4 billion of them actually, have internet access. And you only need a 100 people to give you $50 a month to make $5,000 a month, $60,000 a year. If you find 200 of those 7 billion people, then all of a sudden you’re making $120,000 a year, you’re making six figures and you only need those two hundred customers. So, don’t worry about your competition, there are billions of people out there. Millions of people who probably need your product or service, and you just need to go out and find your people.
You need to collaborate and cooperate and don’t compete with other people online. It’s not like you and your neighbor have opened the only chicken joints across the street from each other in a one-stoplight town. There’s two-place chicken, fifty-fifty, you know what I mean? No. You’ve got the entire world as your marketplace and competition is really not as important as it used to be.
Also remember, your competition can’t copy you. Products and ideas, I hate to tell you… you have not invented something new, you have not invented a new idea, you’ve not done something that someone else is not doing somewhere. No matter what idea you come up with, someone else somewhere is doing something similar. But what they can’t ever mimic is you. Your personality, who you are. I would guess, that’s why you listen to the Flipped Lifestyle podcast is because Jocelyn and I are normal people from Kentucky, we got kids, we got the same amount of problems and the same amount of things going good as everybody else. And you’re here for that. Because you don’t relate to the other person who really is teaching the same thing that we are.
So, have some perspective that’s how you overcome the confidence killer of fear of competition.
Jocelyn: Alright, so let’s talk about how to overcome the next confidence killer – the fear of change. This one is something that’s even kind of hard for me. Because, I am a person who if Shane had never introduced me to online business six years ago, I would still be working in a library right now.
Shane: Jocelyn is a railroad tracks girl, you know what I’m saying? Like she’s not going off road very much.
Jocelyn: And it’s not because I’m not an ambitious person inherently because I think that I am. But, I guess I’m just more guarded.
Shane: Here’s an analogy for that, Jocelyn likes the ladder of success that’s going straight up and she knows exactly where to go and she knows who to pass and go through there. And I’m more of the there’s a mountain, I’m not sure how to get to the top of it. You’re still trying to go up, you’re still trying to succeed, you’re still trying to do that, it’s just you don’t like things to change or veer off path very much.
Jocelyn: The way that I’ve overcome that is that I have someone who pushes me out of the airplane, like every single day.
Shane: I got your parachuuuuuuute!
Jocelyn: Yeah, I don’t really have an opportunity to say, ‘okay well, no I’m not gonna do that’ because Shane pretty much makes me.
Shane: So what we’re saying is surround yourself with change makers. Surround yourself with people who will push you to get out of your comfort zone and make those things happen. Or, maybe they’re not even pushing you, just surround yourself with stories or read about people who were making those things happen, so that you have some examples of ‘Hey it’s okay to get out of my comfort zone. When I do take risks, good things will happen’ and that will help you build your confidence by letting other people be confident for you at times you need it or seeing other people and they’re confident and they can kinda rub off on you.
Jocelyn: And if that sounds super overwhelming, start small.
Shane: Start making yourself change little things like, do you go to the same restaurant every Thursday? Wait, probably not a good example ‘cause me and Jocelyn go to the same restaurant every Thursday and eat stir-fry.
Jocelyn: It’s stir-fry day on Thursday.
Shane: It’s stir-fry day, so we might need to mix up our Thursday, Jocelyn. But like, try to eat at different restaurants. If you’d normally eat at a Mexican restaurant, go to an Italian place. If you’d normally go to the steakhouse, then go to the chicken place. Whatever.
Do something to just disrupt your schedule in places where it doesn’t matter as much. Change your toothpaste every week. Go buy a new toothpaste. Change your cologne. If you’re like me, you probably got the same bottle of cologne that you’ve had in your medicine cabinet for like ten years. You know, the little things like that really make things happen. They change up the routine of your life and that could help you build confidence in little areas so that when you make big changes, it becomes a little bit easier because you kind of become used to change.
Jocelyn: Alright, the next confidence killer that we are going to help you overcome is the negative outside voices in your life. So, the way that you’re going to overcome that is to tune those out. Guys, this is hard, it really is.
Shane: This is probably the hardest one. Really, to be honest with you.
Jocelyn: Yes. This is something that we have had to do. It is not easy. It’s not easy to tell someone that’s been a part of your life, maybe since birth or shortly thereafter that ‘hey, I’m gonna be working on something and we’re not gonna be able to talk as much’ and that is exactly what you have to do. It sounds harsh, I know it does, but the thing about it is if you have someone who is a constant negative influence in your life, that does not ever bring good things forward.
Shane: So what we’re trying to tell you is you all need to find some new friends. I mean, seriously. If you’ve got people in your life that you know are always complaining, always negative, always woe is me, and-
Jocelyn: ‘I have the worst luck.’
Shane: ‘I got the worst luck and you know, it always works out for them, but it never works out for people like us.’ Don’t ever let people say ‘people like us’ to you and destroy your confidence. You know, you need to get out of that situation and you don’t have to be harsh, you don’t have to say ‘you know, you are a very negative person and-’
Jocelyn: ‘I’m out, see you!’
Shane: ‘I’m out, I’m gonna have to leave you behind. You’re just done. I’m sorry.’
Jocelyn: But what you can do is stop talking to them as often.
Shane: Yep.
Jocelyn: If they’re constantly bringing you down and you feel bad after you have been talking to them, then don’t talk to them as often.
Shane: Yep.
Jocelyn: Maybe just text them, and say ‘hey, what’s up? I’m thinking about you’.
Shane: Yep.
Jocelyn: It’s okay to do that. But what you don’t want is to get into a vortex of negativity, because when that happens, it is really hard to pull yourself out. I have people in my life that, this has happened to me and I find that when I talk to these particular people more often, I become a lot more negative and just have a terrible outlook on life. And I don’t want that. So, I tried to distance myself from people who were like that. I used to work at a school with this one lady a few years ago, and she was just always complaining about things and I really hated that school. I think the reason I hated it partially was because I was always around that person who was constantly negative like she never had a good word to say.
Shane: So basically, you’re going to have to change your environment, you’re gonna have to distance yourself from some people and look, this could be family. This is one of the hardest things about this, if your family can hold you back, your family can stop you from taking the next step because they can kill your confidence and you can’t let your family abuse their relationship with you.
If you have a family member that’s being negative and killing your confidence then, you’re gonna have to put some boundaries in place, you really are gonna have to look at your relationships if those relationships are killing your confidence and you’re not gonna be able to stay in the same place and go to a higher place. You’re gonna have to get away from the negativity, those people have to be away from you if they’re gonna stop killing your confidence.
Jocelyn: Alright, to overcome our final confidence killer – lack of experience. Well, get some experience and tell yourself, you are going to mess up and it is okay. That is what helps us learn. That’s what helps us get better. Think about what you tell your kids, you don’t tell them ‘okay, well, you went to basketball, practice for the first time, you better be the best basketball player ever.’ No! You tell them to get out there, take shots, miss them and continue to get better every single time. And I know that because that’s what we tell our kids.
Shane: Trial and error is how we make progress, the more stuff you do, the more errors you make. At first, it’s like trial and error, trial and error, trial and error, then it’s like try and do, try and do, try and do, oh trial and error. It keeps getting easier and easier the more you do anything. Repetition is what makes things happen.
I was just redoing our website the other day, we haven’t updated our website in like three years and we’re kind of the ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’ kind of people, but we’ve started to realize we needed to evolve a little bit, we needed to do some things. And I can remember when we first built Flipped Lifestyle, it took months to actually get everything to work and get everything the way looked at and make everything right. But this time, it took me a few hours, I just logged in, we had the developer and people working with us to get all the mechanics. So, we knew to hire someone to help us with that process and then I wrote the copy in probably four or five hours for the entire website. Because I’ve done it before, we have built our football coaching website, our teaching websites, we had built Flipped Lifestyle, we’ve helped hundreds of people build their own websites and talk through the process. So, through that repetition, through that experience, this was like a one-day thing instead of a 100-day thing.
You’re going to have to take action if you’re going to overcome your lack of experience. It’s the only thing that can stop that from killing your confidence. If you look up and you say, ‘I can’t do it’ then you need to go do it until you can.
Isaac was just brought up basketball practice the other day, Isaac missed almost every shot his first day of practice and he came up to me, and he said, ‘gosh, all those other kids, they hit all those shots and they’re so good and they can dribble so good, I thought I knew how to play basketball, dad. I just don’t know how to do it.’ And I said, ‘what’s the difference between you and them, Isaac?’ and he thought about it for a minute and he said, ‘well, this kid played last year, and this kid played for two years, and this kid’s on this travel team but he also plays over here at Upward’ and I said, ‘so what’s the difference?’, he said, ‘they’ve all played before’, and I said, ‘yeah, and in a year, you’ll have played before too. So, another kid will come in, he’ll have less experience, you’ll have more experience and he’ll look at you and say ‘man, he’s got it figured out’ but he didn’t at the beginning and neither do you.’
So, the only way to overcome the lack of experience is to do, and do it again and mess up, and do it again until you don’t mess up as much as you did before.
Jocelyn: And if all that seems a little bit overwhelming, just remember that you only have to start small. Look at something you can do. Maybe, you’re not ready to start a podcast or start a YouTube channel or whatever it is. Maybe, you start a Facebook group. Maybe, start an email list. You don’t have to do what everyone else is doing, at least at first. Maybe, you don’t want to do a high polished video with a big setup and a green screen and a news desk, and you’re all dressed up, looking like a news anchor or something, I don’t know. Do some Facebook lives, get your phone out. Just upload something, get started. Maybe start a Twitter feed and share some articles that someone else wrote. Do something. It reminds me of that saying, is like, ‘the best time to plant a tree was a hundred years ago, but the next best time is today’. So, get started, do something.
Shane: Something that kills confidence is they look at people who are way far ahead of them, and they say ‘man, I could never do all that’. Well, you don’t need to do what me and Jocelyn are doing. You don’t need to do what the latest expert or guru is doing, the millionaire on stage at the latest conference that you went to. You need to do what we did five years ago, and the first thing that we did was google ‘how do I start a website’, you know? We said, okay, let’s install WordPress, let’s figure this out. Let’s figure out, you know, how do I take a payment? I don’t know, let’s research it and look at it and then let’s do it, and let’s break everything.
I remember the first time we ever tried to take money for anything, it gave the product away for free for like a week before I even knew what was going on. I was using something called- what was that thing I used to use to deliver playbooks? E-junkie? Is that what it’s called?
Jocelyn: I think so.
Shane: Yeah, we were using e-junkie and I had it set up wrong, on the PayPal wasn’t even hooked up. I set up e-junkie and put in the thing to download, but I never connected it to PayPal or anything, it was like, ‘alright, here we go!’ and they just like, they click the button and they got the thing, and it was all for free because I didn’t know how to do that. But you know what, I’ve figured it out. And now, all of our pay buttons work.
Jocelyn: It doesn’t take you long to learn that lesson.
Shane: That’s right, exactly. So, just do things and get it done, and you’re gonna get further along than you are now.
If you’d like to become a member of our Flip Your Life community, head over to Flippedlifestyle.com/flipyourlife and we can help you with your online business.
Jocelyn: Alright, it’s time to move into our Can’t Miss Moment segment of the show, and these are moments that we were able to experience that we might have missed if we were still working at a normal nine to five job.
Shane: Alright, this week’s Can’t Miss Moment was a trip out to Boise, Idaho of all places.
If you could’ve cornered me in my classroom five years ago, and said, ‘where would you be in five years?’, I would not have picked Boise, Idaho.
Jocelyn and I actually flew out to Boise, Idaho to meet with Russell Brunson and the Clickfunnels team, it was an amazing meeting – a very, very high-level mastermind type event. Two intense days of hardcore work on our sales funnels and things like that. And man, it was awesome. Boise, I don’t know – if you don’t know much about Boise, Idaho, let me tell you something, it is absolutely one of the most beautiful places we’ve ever been to. All the buildings are new, it’s growing and it’s just great people, the Uber drivers and all the people that we’ve met there were just such good people and we had an amazing time out in Boise, Idaho.
It was amazing meeting Russel, meeting his team, seeing the Clickfunnels headquarters and just being able to learn so much more about how we can do better as marketers and salespeople and this is a Can’t Miss Moment because Jocelyn and I have the resources now to invest in our business, invest in ourselves, and we’ve really worked hard to build that over time, and we’re able to take advantage of some of these amazing opportunities to learn from some of the very best in the game.
Jocelyn: And I also loved that we were able to meet up with some other Flip Your Life members, Chris and Melanie Greenwood. We met up with them at this conference and had a great few days just hanging out with them and learning together, some of the highest level content that I -probably the highest of a content I ever experienced at an event, so that was pretty cool.
Shane: We love to share our Can’t Miss Moments with you each week on the Flipped Lifestyle podcast, but there’s one thing we love to share even more and that is a success story from our Flip Your Life community. So, before we go, we wanted to share an actual success story from the Success Forums in the Flip Your Life membership.
Jocelyn: Today’s success story comes from Jennifer in the Flip Your Life community, and Jennifer says, ‘I finished my first set of science videos’.
Shane: Nice! So, Jennifer says, ‘after a lot of hard work during the past week, I’ve finished my first set of science videos for my membership area. I needed seven videos for this lesson about animals’, and she’s teaching like lesson plans for scientific investigation in outdoors. So, she’s basically doing homeschool like science lesson plans for people who are homeschooling. And she said, ‘I’m ready to add it to my autoresponder and market the membership to my list’.
So, what was amazing about this success story is Jennifer got the first content into her membership area and I love this sentence in her success story, ‘I’m now ready to market the membership to my list’, so let me go on. She says, ‘I only have like a hundred seventy-nine lessons left, but I’m just going to focus on one at a time’.
So, she’s not waiting until her entire product is full here, she’s got the first part, she’s got enough to sell right now and get people in, and she’s celebrating that she can open the doors even though she’s gonna make the rest of the lessons later. So, this is not only an amazing story of taking action and getting something done, the first step is done, but it’s not being afraid to sell something even though you’ve got to create the rest of it. She’s not gonna wait eight months for now until she’s got a hundred and seventy-nine more things finished. She’s opening the doors, she’s gonna start selling and she’s gonna start marketing things, and that’s gonna help her make money in her online business to succeed even faster.
Jocelyn: We would love to help you write this success story for your online business. At the end of today’s show, head over to Flippedlifestyle.com/flipyourlife where you can learn more about building and growing a successful online business with the help of our Flip Your Life community.
Shane: Before we sign off, we’d like to close every show from a verse from the Bible.
Today’s verse comes from 1 Peter 4:10.
The Bible says, “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others”. So, make sure you are using whatever gifts and talents you have in your online business, get out there, serve other people, people need you and what you know.
That’s all the time we have for this week. As always, guys, thanks for listening to the Flipped Lifestyle podcast and until next time. Get out there, take action. Do whatever it takes to flip your life.
We’ll see you then!
Jocelyn: Bye!
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