Depending on where you are in your online journey, you have probably experienced some (or a lot) of negativity.
This is on my mind because we’ve had several haters lately, so I thought I’d write about how we deal with people who are not 100% supportive.
I’m a pleaser – always have been.
I got mostly straight A’s in school, and my teachers would send notes home stating, “I wish I had a whole room full of students like Jocelyn.” I’m not really what you might call a suck up. I just hate the thought of people being unhappy as a result of something I did (or didn’t do).
This can be both a blessing and a curse.
The good news is that I am very passionate about customer service and going the extra mile to make people happy with their purchases. I’ve had very few complaints compared to many businesses. The bad news is that when someone does send a nasty email, it crushes my soul.
Today I’m going to tell you about the various types of negativity we’ve experienced and how we deal with it.
1. The “Getting Started” Naysayer
When Shane discovered online business in 2012, I will admit that I was not the most supportive person. It all seemed so far-fetched – even to me, a fairly tech-savvy person.
I finally got on board, and a year later things got serious.
We made the gut-wrenching decision to quit our full-time jobs in August 2013 with very little support. It seemed like we had someone around every corner telling us we were making a huge mistake.
Maybe you’re trying to get started and people are saying you’re wasting your time. We know how hurtful this can be, especially from those who are closest to you. We recommend stating your case, but don’t try to convince them that you’re doing the right thing.
Chances are, you may never be able to change that person’s mind. That’s wasted energy you could be using to work on your online business.
We usually say something like, “We appreciate your concern for us. We will definitely keep that in mind.” That is usually enough to get someone off your back.
If you’re dealing with your spouse or someone you have to live with every day, it’s going to be a little more of an uphill battle.
Shane and I recently recorded a podcast about this – click here to listen.
The Bottom Line: You will have naysayers as you’re getting started in your online business. Have a response prepared and stick to your guns if you have decided to give online business a shot.
2. The Disgruntled Customer
No matter what you do, there will always be someone who doesn’t like it.
When I created my most recent digital product, I worked meticulously to get it just right. I worked hundreds of hours to make sure no one would complain about it.
Things were going well until last week when I got an angry email. It wasn’t my first one, but this one made my blood boil more than usual.
My first instinct when I get one of these emails is to pounce.
Many times, I’d love to send back an equally nasty reply with reasons I’m right and the other person is clearly wrong. That’s one of the worst things you can do.
When (not if) you get an angry email from a customer, wait a while to respond.
Try to see things from the customer’s perspective. It’s hard, but if you can put yourself in the other person’s shoes for a moment, it will help you figure out the best course of action to take.
I always start by thanking the person for their email. This is a goodwill gesture to let your customer know that you appreciate their business.
Next, I state my case based on what they told me in their email. Depending on the issue, I usually bend a little to keep them happy. Offer a partial (or full) refund, send them an extra digital product, or accept a return. I always close with something positive to let them know I’m on their side (even though it’s really hard to do sometimes).
The best case scenario is to let someone else deal with these messages if you can. We’ve been working with a few virtual assistants lately and it’s really helped me avoid ruining my day by reading an angry email. Tell your virtual assistant how to respond to disgruntled customers and don’t even look at those messages unless the customer is asking for something unusual or the message is particularly hateful or threatening.
The Bottom Line: You will have unhappy customers despite your best efforts to please them. Have a plan in place for responding to their messages and never respond in the heat of the moment. Remember that emails are written records and you don’t want someone to post a scathing screenshot with your name on it.
3. The Pot Stirrer
I think this one annoys me the most. Things are going great… Your online business is taking off, money is rolling in, and then one day you log into Facebook and someone has posted something mean about you on your business page. Even worse, people have liked it or added their own supportive comments.
There’s a time and place for constructive criticism, and we all certainly have things we can improve on.
However, I find that these people usually just like to start a commotion.
If it’s a legitimate concern, go ahead and address it in the public forum. Most people will appreciate your openness and transparency when you admit you’re not perfect.
If it’s someone being mean for the sake of meanness or jealousy, delete the comment. There’s a reason you’re the administrator on your social media pages. If someone is only there to bring you down, remove them from the page. If it’s an email, delete it.
The Bottom Line: Don’t let negative strangers bring you down. You aren’t obligated to respond to people if they’re just being rude for no apparent reason. Delete those comments if you can – it will give you a great sense of satisfaction and accomplishment.
How do you deal with haters? Tell us in the comments!
You can connect with S&J on social media too!
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If you have comments or questions, please be sure to leave them below in the comment section of this post. See y’all next week!
Glen Evans says
The internet has made it easy to be anonymous and nasty. People say things in writing they would never say to your face. If you are an entrepreneur, you are within a group of .01% of people who have decided to take the rudder and chart your own course. The lemmings, those people who never dare to do anything and try to pull down those who do, are unfortunately great in numbers. You are very nice Jocelyn, I have taken to firing customers who take too much energy to service. As long as they are nice, we can do business. The moment they turn mean, nasty, or downgrading, they get an immediate refund and I cut off contact – I still get a little irritated, but I refuse to let it alter my day.
Arvind Ramkrishna says
Jocelyn. Solid post. This has definitely been a difficult one to tackle as I find myself wavering. I have been at it for 2 years myself and some of the business owners I talk to sort of tell me the same thing. They sort of look at it from a traditional business plan standpoint and look at the time invested vs the output in revenue.
It’s very hard to convince them about something you are passionate about and just enjoy doing as a craft. I love to teach and inspire others to be creative but sometimes I do question the time I give up with family, friends, in pursuit of a larger dream. I can only tell myself that until I implement all the actions prescribed by Pat Flynn, yourself, and a few others that I follow, I am not prepared to call it quits. (especially not after working on our new website for almost a year).
That said I also cannot ignore the valid questions as to the sustainability of my niche for future growth. I think design related problem solving and drawing may have a smaller appeal then some of the other niches do in terms of the amount of work people need to put in to get results, the target audience, and whether people actually have realistic amount of time to put into pursuing a craft.
I am mindful that I cannot just put out content and “hope” things will catch on. It has to be controlled.
Anyway…..great post. These are really high value discussion points and things to keep in mind when marching forward.
Gertrude says
The pot-stirrers always amaze me. If you won’t take action for YOUR OWN life why would you want to tear someone else who has down ? I’ve also come to learn that it’s usually a sign that you’re doing something right when some people take it upon themselves to criticize and become bitter lemons in your tea. Argh !!
Keep doing what you guys do Shane and Jocelyn. Some of us are totally inspired by your work, love what you are doing and are working to emulate you.
Have a blessed day !!
Tom says
I remember when Rich Roll started his online business and podcast. You can listen to episode #7 I think – he spends 30 minutes responding to trolls and how it genuinely hurt him and his wife to read some of those messages.
Trolls and rude people are loud and want attention. Most of us quietly enjoy great content. I wish I had been more outgoing with some of the podcasts that have shut down because they felt like nobody cared.
Stay the course and drive value to 99% of us and you’ll be rewarded 99% of the time – even if you don’t know it.
“Keep going. You never know who you are inspiring.”
Stuart says
Jocelyn
When the haters start arriving it’s a sure sign that you’re succeeding.
That’s not to say that you should rejoice in having haters but every time someone wants to put you down it’s a sure sign that they’re envious so smile and move on.
Yesterday we listened to your interview with Pat … it was very inspiring. Thank you
Brad @ RichmondSavers.com says
This came at a perfect time for me because I just got my first set of really awful comments on my site. It definitely took me aback at first, but then I came to grips with it and realized that there are a lot of negative people out there who have nothing better to do than bring other people down and that regardless of what this one person thinks, I’m legitimately helping hundreds of people through my ‘free travel rewards coaching service’ and this one opinion is irrelevant.
I just hit delete and moved on!
George says
Great post Jocelyn. It is funny how one hater comment can make you forget the hundred positive ones.
Let me be a positive one.
Your website, your content and what you are sharing is changing lives and it is appreciated.
Also, I’m reading a great book “The Obstacle is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph” by Ryan Holiday that might help. You should check it out since you and your husband are book nerds like me.
George
Jason says
My business is not yet at the point of social media haters or trolls, but I will say that the doubts of family and friends have been persistent and challenging. Very few people I know follow their dreams, or even know what their dreams are, so they tend to see mine as just another fleeting, fruitless hobby that will terminate in me dusting off my resume to revisit the lifestyle I despise.
This stings, not just because these people are close to me, but also because I am already doing 100% of the startup tasks myself- website design, business research, admin crap, client outreach, more client outreach, setting up project templates, etc. But now, on top of that, I have to be my own island of moral support as well. It’s not that I lack supportive and loving family and friends, it’s that my departure from the stable 9-to-5 world to these uncharted waters of self-employment generally elicits a “well, good luck to you, I guess”, which is just another way of saying “that’s impossible, you’re going to fail, just get a regular job”.
I am starting to realize, however, that this sentiment may be based less in a lack of confidence in me than in a lack of confidence in themselves. Their doubts in me could very well be a disguise for their own absence of courage or willpower to follow what makes them feel alive. Whatever the reason, their attitudes just drives me to succeed that much more. 🙂
Thanks for the post. Good insight and inspiration!
-J
Shane Sams says
So true on so many levels Jason! Thanks for your comment.
Shelley Hitz says
This is a great post! A good one to read again periodically as a reminder 😉
We ALL get haters occasionally. I got a negative email today from a subscriber questioning my motives. Thanks for sharing your advice!
Christian Newman says
It’s a whole lot easier to deal with haters when you go into the situation aware of the fact that not all customers are the perfect fit for your business. If your product doesn’t solve their problem or satisfy their desire, they’re not raving about you to their friends – but if you handle it like a pro – give them their money back or whatever makes sense given the circumstances – they may just end up with something to rave about. 🙂
Patrick J Roden says
Success is THE best Revenge.